Tamara Hastie - Creative Mixed Media and Portrait Photographer, Flagstaff, Arizona
creative mixed media & portrait photographer
new-4.jpg

A simple blog containing photography, videos, and creative media by Tamara Hastie.

A simple blog containing photography, videos, and creative media by Tamara Hastie of rock climbing, portraits, HD video, and other various forms of mixed media.

You and I

Song lyrics are eighty/ninety percent of why I even listen to the songs I do. I like to sing, I admit it. I'm one of those that if I know it, like it, I'm singing down the road loud. Not necessarily do I like to belt-it-out when I am put on the spot, but I do occasionally get comfortable, and if the words to a favorite song are streaming on one device or another, it comes out, oh so very naturally.  If the lyrics do not make me FEEL like singing (or dancing) - it is lost to me. The last few mornings (last few, who am I joking, last month), I have had 3:45am wake up times. I think of him first dam thing as I open my eyes, and I can't fucking shake it. I wake up and first thing, I'm anticipating him, thinking that he will write something, anything, any communication to resolute these circumstances. He used to send me the most delightful of messages that I looked forward to daily, maybe even hourly, now my messages and questions go unanswered or with a nasty response. It feels very EMPTY and unexplainable.

Plain and simple.

I get it, but can't get it.  I'm guessing it's called not surrendering to my circumstances. He felt amazing to me. Who doesn't want to have that around to look forward to? Fuck.

Caroline's lyrics below, I'm plugged into these this morning. I have random songs play for my alarm in the morning,  so the song that came on was the one at the very bottom of the page CRAZY. I then decided to look up the lyrics to another one of her songs, You and I, the one wrote out below.

I'm just going to coin THIS the early MORNING lyric wake-up call.

I just can't understand how this one human being, a man, named xyz has given me such a blow to my heart. Holy shit. I just can't seem to build my bridge and get over it. Early mornings such as this one is where I wish I was camped up high up in Tuttle Creek on the East Side, waking up early to bright starry skies, a cool breeze blowing gently down from the granite walls delivering the sweet smell of the Artemisia californica (California sagebrush) and Chrysolepis chrysophylla (golden chinquapin- yummy!).

A wall with of some of the routes I helped put up a few years back...

Maybe I just need to write more.

 

YOU AND I

by Caroline Savoie

Written June 2011

I'm 100 miles away from home

And the distance only amplifies the void in my soul

I gave my heart away for the first time in a while

But you were not willing to make your heart mine

 

And out here the campfire slowly begins to die

As the rain washes away the flame time after time

Something that had hardly started

That could have been brought to life

Just like you and I

 

Cause I almost believed that you were into me

And I almost believed we were more than just a compromise

But now I'm stuck between the lines

Of what is wrong and what is right

I didn't think it'd come to this for you and I

 

Well I've made a fool out of myself

Thinking we'd be us when the you was always distant from the me

But you seemed so different from them all

But I guess I was wrong,

And once again I'm the one who takes the fall

 

Cause I almost believed that you were into me

And I almost believed we were more than just a compromise

But now I'm stuck between the lines

Of what is wrong and what is right

I didn't think it'd come to this for you and I

 

Cause for you I'd let my walls come down

You had me just when you said goodbye

And now we never had the chance

To see together what we could find

 

Cause I almost believed that you were into me

And I almost believed we were more than just a compromise

But now I'm stuck between the lines

Of what is wrong and what is right

I didn't think it'd come to this for you and I

 

I almost believed that you were into me

And now I can't believe we were never meant to be

But now I'm stuck between the lines

Of what is wrong and what is right

I didn't think it'd come to this for you and I

 

 

 

 

Another one of my all time favorites : CRAZY

(much better recording than the one above!)