Tamara Hastie - Creative Mixed Media and Portrait Photographer, Flagstaff, Arizona
creative mixed media & portrait photographer
new-4.jpg

A simple blog containing photography, videos, and creative media by Tamara Hastie.

A simple blog containing photography, videos, and creative media by Tamara Hastie of rock climbing, portraits, HD video, and other various forms of mixed media.

Frustration once again results in art work...

Admitting your faults is hard thing to do. As I am sitting here writing, all I want to do is give it up, give up the ludicrous fault of mine that has befallen me again recently. You know, write it out- put it out there- sing it out loud while walking down the trail. They say if you write it out or speak it out loud it then has been physically expressed, released and only then can you finally begin the process of understanding

WHY?

Why do I do this or that, one thing and not the other? And shit, some are still mysteries- but this one, the one I want to give up is not a mystery.

As I have always said, the most important rule of interacting with people is how you want to be

REMEMBERED. VERY SIMPLE.

If you want to leave a shitty impression on other people's minds (and their friends=spreads like wildfire), just remember people remember, then realize and associate you with bad attitude. It sticks and follows right along with you, for months and even for years. Better to be remembered positively, suck it up and walk away with confidence. I do sometimes tell people to fuck off, but then that's what I do, tell them to fuck off. I don't sit there and hang out with them and sling mug.

I'm pointing a finger directly at him: the above, that's his fault.  Not mine. He is just simply not nice. I'm so confused on any of his intentions that it's the most baffled I have been in a very long time. The abbreviation for WTF was created for situations like this because you really can't write it enough...

WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF x 1000.

WTF: ESTUDIO MINGA

Really I can't even put words to how to describe this man- maybe slightly emotionless? Hurtful things can be said by him, and he is seems to reassure himself that is okay in the first place to be hurtful, but clearly numb to any sort diplomacy on getting his frustrations across eloquently. I've hung out with some crappy people who looked and smelled crappy, and you knew the minute they opened their mouth crap was going to come out.

Expected. Totally expected.

This man, he was just a better dressed and educated one who enjoyed? insulting? or just insulting me? Not sure what take I should have on it? He does not have tact, at least my definition of it. Does he even know he comes across that way? How could he not?  When you result to such tactics it shows me that you have no respect for me (surprises me the on/off switch he has), but sadly it shows that he has no respect for himself. He is really the same species of DOG, just sporting a different haircut (which is stylish I admit). I wish that he was not a DOG and I did not have to write this, but I do have to admit, it helps me. How could he not know that he was doing this? And I remind myself, he knew, he is articulate, precise, very aware, and tactical.

I have it bad for this man.

REAL BAD.

I want to dance with him EVERYWHERE IMAGINABLE!

He captivates me.

HE'S HOT.

SMART.

WATER SAVVY- Conversations had just begun.

LOVES THE OUTDOORS AND NOT NECESSARILY MY OUTDOORS, MY LIST IS HUGE AND COULD GO ON.

SEX WAS FUN AND HAD MUCHO POTENTIAL.

I felt as if we had a lot in common in all the right places. THE perfect amount.

So my fault is, oh no, here it goes, is that I felt that he was interested, that there was a place for me in his day, week, month. I couldn't grasp that he really had no respect for me, none, and I could not face it. Honestly, I still can't, but need to. I kept it up, I just could not get that he was just plain not into to me. I feel still as if he really is missing out on a good time, and losing out on exquisite company, great conversation not to mention many other things.

It could have been great. I saw it.

Deep down in my heart, I know that he saw it too.

I'm convinced. You just can't write those messages and not mean it. No way.

Unfortunately HIS LOSS and not so much mine. His attitude stunk.

I have really great friends, let me tell ya. They all sent me links to forums and blog sites showing his complete disregard for people's feelings. I totally understand that you can't always care about everyones feelings, and people can be overly sensitive (and yes kinda dumb), but really? You have to give a shit a little. Come on. So sad that such a handsome intelligent man has such a crappy things said about him via www, not cool of them, not cool of him. It's sorta mind blowing, especially in what seems to be a small community of folks. And here I thought it was me...but by the looks of it definitely not.

TODAY was the last straw.

HE HAS BEEN REMOVED FROM MY LIST.

HE KNOWS WHERE TO FIND ME IF HE FEELS A COMPLIMENT OR TWO ENTER HIS BLOOD STREAM AND WHEN THE EGO FLUSHES OUT.

No more games to be played.

I admit it, I'M BUMMED OUT.

But it had to be done.

HE SHOULD RECONSIDER HIS POSITION

THE TIME IS ALWAYS NOW TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT.

It's all about how you are remembered. I feel as if he will looking for a long time before he finds another gal like me.

Deep down I hope he does- I'm first class and extremely delectable.